Weekend Writing Warriors #8sunday
I am in the process of needed rewrite my novel, A Daimon Sip. I have done 2 complete drafts but it was just the start. I have been fortunate to have received lots of helpful feedback from fellow writers and a story editor which has inspired me to start on a deep rewrite. Here is the part of the new opening chapter….
“His enemies were hunting him. They had taken their time to come hunt him here in the Earth Realm. He flickered and shimmered with the golden skin of his Daimon form. He shook off the desire to transform but his anger was like a seed that grew fast and he breathed deep to dispel its little claws in his heart.
His form stabilized quickly, he could maintain his human form easily without effort or extra energy but the scent of the Ice Daimons brought back the old Naberius – the Daimon Avenger – the destroyer of Evil. He pushed that desire away. In those days, he had become the bogeyman that Daimon children whispered about. He was feared by the Daimon populace and revered by his soldiers but he lost his beliefs knee deep in his enemy’s bodies and so he crawled away, growling and snapping like a mad dog. The evil he fought in the Daimon Wars was an elusive political mirage but the Ice Daimons stalking him were no mirage. Their intent was clear. He rubbed his chest and took a deep breath.”
Image by Greg Luzinack
fantastic Kate…your writing is always strong, vivid…it keeps getting tighter…great to read it
I sympathize with rewrite hell. My #1 beta reader — my wife — recently told me my latest masterpiece should start in chapter 5, not chapter 1. That means a ton of rewrites. Sigh.
Very funky great writing, Kate. Atta girl!
Lots of information here. 🙂 This is not someone I would want to mess with. 😉
he lost his beliefs knee deep in his enemy’s bodies
Hi Kate, your work is packed with awesome phrases. I really liked the one above. Excellent start!
Interesting snippet, certainly establishes a mood right away and creates much interest to find out more.
Impressive portrayal of what sounds like an impressive character. I’m intrigued. That illustration is gorgeous, and very fitting!
Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors!
Lots of intriguing description has my curiosity piqued, Kate. Nicely done. 🙂
I’m one of the moderators here, one of the people who check the posts each week. I noticed that you have 11 sentences. Our rules do state that we delete without notice for posts going over 10. Since you’re new and probably haven’t seen that, I’m leaving your link on the list so other participants will be able to find you.
Once again, welcome! Hope you have a good week. See you next Sunday. 🙂
oh no….counting is a challenge. Thank-you for letting me slide this time! Excited to be part of this group!
Dark, strong and magnificent. I love it!